How to make a crazy story crazier
by DreamyPhantom
Summary: An Assassination Classroom fanwork, now with magical girls and boys. If writing about magic also affects the story, this fanfiction might even be funny, too ! But there is only one way for you to find that out...
1. Chapter 1 : Just another day in E-class

**_Chapter 1 : Just another day in E-Class..._**

Before introducing magic to the already crazy universe of _Assassination Classroom_ , I think it preferable to warn you of a few things you will come across in this fanfiction. Starting with my rather tasteless humour. I will not apologise for awful jokes, nor repeat my warning. Read at your own risk of facepalming yourself to death. Secondly, there will be mentions of the following shows : _Sailor Moon_ , _Card Captor Sakura_ , _Magic Knight Rayearth_ and _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_. Be aware that MadoMagi might be entirely spoiled, including Rebellion, so if you do not want spoilers I advise you to watch everything before I reach the chapter where I intend to use it (if you never intended to watch it however fear not, it will not prevent you from enjoying the fic). My third warning will be about headcanons and ships. Even if shipping is not the main focus of this fanfiction, there will probably be some KarmaXNagisa. For the sake if my ship not being troubled by canon, let us take it for granted that Kayano is not in love with Nagisa in this fanfiction and that Karma and Okuda are just friends. There might be some crack pairings implied here and there, you might not even notice it. One last thing : I might be OoC at times. Feel free to tell me (by the bye, would you be so kind as to leave mean, nasty reviews. My ego delights in praise but my writing skills are unredeemable masochists, and I would rather trust the latter).

And so we begin at last. Korosensei- the yellow unidentified lifeform that has taken the part of the teacher in the absurd comedy on the verge of unfolding before your very eyes- (...sorry, I did not know how to begin my story)

...so we said, Korosensei had barely concluded his lesson about the Meiji era when the school bell rung.

"Just on time," he congratulated himself before wishing the class a nice evening. A nice evening of studying for the upcoming chemistry test, scheduled to the next morning. A few forgetful students complained at the reminder, only to be taunted by their teacher. The remaining teenagers were packing their things and starting to head home. It was the case, for example, of our protagonist Nagisa Shiota- a girly-looking boy with blue pigtails and a sharp mind...wait, blue pigtails ? Typical main character hair. Now the question you might ask is, what genre of anime is it ? Fantasy ? Shonen ? Magical girl ? Hum, magical girl...wait. Blue hair and pigtails ? That makes me think of something...oh, I know ! This is the story of a well known Vocaloid.

...what do you mean, it is not ? Oh damnit. Well, at least my stupid comments have allowed me to fill a few lines while not detailing the act of packing one's school items- an action neither the reader nor the author nor the character give a damn about. It might be interesting for the plot on the other hand to tell you that his friend Karma is waiting for him- no, no shipping yet. Anyway, let us go on with the first chapter of this...crackfic ? Crappy fic ? Parody fic ? Crappy crack parody of a fic ?

...I know, the story.

So we are back to Nagisa, who had finished packing his things and was about to leave with his friend when he heard someone calling his name. The Someone happened to be Rio Nakamura. Nagisa turned his head towards her, noticing by the way that the classroom was now almost empty. "What is it, Nakamura-san ?"

"Would you mind staying for a bit ? Ritsu and I have something to discuss with you."

Nagisa glanced at the artificial intelligence at the end of the room, whose screen beamed a gleeful smile at the acknowledgment. Nagisa smiled back timidly. He had absolutely no idea of what this unlikely couple had in mind, and was torn between curiousity and an intuition that he would not like what he was going to hear. Still, he did not think twice before accepting. He addressed Karma, who was waiting on the threshold. "Go ahead, I'll catch up with you."

"Actually," Nakamura intervened, "it might take a while." Nagisa's eyes translated the silent question he was asking his friend, whether he minded walking back home on his own tonight.

"I don't mind," the other boy replied. "It's not like I had anything to study for anyway." Nagisa knew that the last comment was not for him but for their teacher, whom Karma delighted in taunting. However before said teacher had time to snark back, the taunter's attention had been requested by someone else.

"Ah, erm, Karma-kun ?" Nagisa had not noticed Okuda was still in the room. "There's something I did not understand about today's history lesson...if you don't mind, could you explain it to me please ?"

"Alright" Karma replied after a pause. He was somewhat taken aback by this sudden request- something was off, Nagisa could feel it too; and Nakamura's eyes expressed satisfaction and mischief. On the other hand, neither Nagisa nor Karma could imagine any reason for Okuda to play along with whatever idea the blonde had in mind. Not to mention that Karma and Okuda were good friends, so her request was nothing out of the ordinary. It was the pacing that made it suspicious. "See you tomorrow then." Karma glanced one last time at Nagisa before departing with the chemistry nerd.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me ?" Nagisa asked the remaining girls...who did not get to reply, as their teacher stepped in.

"Boys and girls, I need to lock the doors. Would you please go outside to chat ?"

"I'm switching to mobile version," Ritsu announced before the screen shut down. The two human students therefore left the building, and once their yellow octopus of a teacher had shut the door, wished them goodbye and flown away at Mach 20, they finally got to resume- or more accurately to start their conversation.

"So there it goes," Nakamura started. "We need you for an assassination attempt."

"Sure. What's the plan ?"

"Ritsu, I leave the introduction to you," she grinned.

"Fine ! When we were in class, a little before lunchtime, I intercepted wavelengths with crypted data from a UFO-"

"A UFO ?!" Nagisa was both shocked and excited. "You're kidding, right ?"

"I am not," Ritsu replied.

"So you're saying you really picked up on extra-terrestrials' communications ?!"

"Exactly ! I managed to decipher their messages and I analysed their content. And with a little bit of help from Nakamura and Okuda I managed to make the most of the informations I have picked up and we elaborated a plan that has 1% of succeeding."

"1% ?!" Of course, let us remind the reader that 1% is to be understood as in, +1% compared to the usual plans. Nagisa was amazed at Ritsu's efficiency. Reading and translating encrypted data from another planet...(the narrator hereby asks Nagisa not to question the logic of this story any more, lest he should get a headache) "How is it possible ?"

"Well, that's the incredible part." Incredible- as in, more so than a speaking octopus destroying the moon and teaching a class of leftovers from an elitist school- school over which a UFO had just flown ? Try your best. "Those aliens were using magic."

"Magic ?!" (come on Nagisa, do not look so surprised ! It could have been something like haunted penguin hats or sword fights under an upside-down castle) Narrator, where the hell did those ideas come from ?! (...nevermind). Nagisa had a hint of where the girls were heading to, but he did not dare raise his hopes. "But how does that help us...?"

"The data I intercepted mentionned certain psychic conditions that allowed the use of magic, notably the intensity of psi-waves," Ritsu expanded. "I will not detail the mathematic operations, but the result was that you were eligeable for all the required conditions, Nagisa."

"You lucky psychic," Nakamura added with a hint of regret in her voice. (After all, who would not be excited to be told they were a wiz- wait, wrong series. My most sincere apologies).

Although Nagisa had been secretly hoping to hear what he had just heard, he was still taken aback for a few seconds. Magic...was it not amazing ? His face grew cheerful as the initial shock faded. "Wait, so you mean...wow ! A-and how do I use it ?"

"That's when Okuda-san and I start acting. To channel your psi-powers and do your tricks you need a magical item, so thanks to Okuda's science we got you this," she said as she removed a fancy-looking pen from her pocket. Nagisa stared in disbelief and could not utter a word for a few seconds.

"Nakamura-san, that's a pen," he finally managed to say. Needless to say, his excitement was starting to drop.

"Thanks, I'm not blind," she witfully replied.

"...so you want me to use a pen as a wand ?"

A blank.

"Nakamura-san ?"

Still no reply, but her eyes were starting to narrow in suspicion.

"You've never watched Sailor Moon ?" she eventually asked. Nagisa could feel she was surprised.

"Sailor what ?"

"Sailor Moon...so you really haven't," she added as her surprise turned into amusement. "Well, take this anyway." She put the pen in his hand before he could protest. "Tomorrow morning, just after the bell has rung the beginning of the test, we act."

"We ?" Nagisa wondered at first, before noticing his classmate was about to leave. "Wait ! How am I supposed to become a magician in a night ?!"

"The answer within you lies, young padawan" she joked. Before Nagisa could protest she waved goodbye and was out of his sight. In spite of the rush he still felt from learning he had magical powers, he was starting to worry. Our poor protagonist sighed.

"What have I got into this time..."

* * *

 _Well, I do not have much to say...I just hope Narrator did not annoy you too much ! Anyway, I am one of those lazy writers who take years to update...as of now I have chapter 2 ready, but I would rather have finished chapter 3 before uploading it._

 _Thank you for reading and see you next chapter (if you survived this first mess of an introduction ^^') !_

 _(and of course, feel free to leave a comment ;) )_


	2. Chapter 2 : In which

_**Chapter 2 : In which so little happens we have to summon Narrator in our office to scold them at the end**_

Nagisa came to school a little earlier than usually the next morning. Rio was not there yet, so he nervously headed to his seat, disposed his things for the test, and sat there anxiously until he could disengage himself from the scheme. He had changed his mind. At first he had been willing to give it a try : the boy's mind had been haunted with the stories of UFOs and magic all evening long; and after fastidiously learning his lesson he had given in to trying to use the pen.

Nothing had happened.

He had tried writing several words- from Abracadabra to Supercalifragilispiexpialidocious- on several types of paper. He had even tried writing his teacher's name in a Death Note with the pen, to no effect (your beloved Narrator has provided everyone in the class with a Death Note. After all, given the craziness of the situation it was worth a try, was it not ?). Eventually he had remembered Nakamura's mention of a certain Sailor something (Sailor Moon, Nagisa-kun) -yes, that is the one-, and had googled it. Upon understanding the reference he had tried to convince himself it was a practical joke- it was very much like Nakamura after all. Hopefully Karma had not been filled in about that or it would have been worse...but thinking about Karma not being involved had given him doubts about the case. It would, indeed, be Karma's thing; but neither Okuda nor Ritsu would participate to this kind of pranks, and yet he was out and they were in. However ridiculous it might seem...what if they had been serious about the UFOs and magic ? If they were, Nagisa knew he had to give it a try, for the sake of the universe. A few minutes of looking ridiculous could save everyone he knew and loved- he could not decently refuse.

But still. There was no way he turned into a magical girl- boy (S-sorry Nagisa-kun !) in front of the whole class.

"Good morning Nagisa" Our anxious fellow almost started at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Oh, hi Sugino. How are you ?"

"I'm good, though I'll be better once the test is over. I had a hard time learning all those formulas ! How about you ?"

"Yeah, me too..." Nagisa replied, fiddling a rubber in an attempt at calming down. It was unlike him to let his stress show, and Sugino had probably noticed. Nagisa hoped he would pin it on the upcoming test. After all, science was his worst subject, so it would be natural to be nervous, right ?

Whether Sugino had noticed Nagisa's odd behaviour or not, someone else had and had crept behind him to poke his sides. Nagisa jumped and let out a small yelp of surprise- much to the pranker's amusement. "That wasn't funny !" he snapped back with distraught.

"C'mon, your frown made it all too tempting. Besides, that little cry of yours was cute- don't you agree Akabane ?" The smirking delinquent nodded.

"Will you guys please stop making fun of me ?" Nagisa complained as he turned towards Nakamura. Relieved she had finally arrived, Nagisa pushed the joke away from his mind and his cheeks turned bright red from anticipating the conversation he was going to have. "Nakamura-san, we need to talk."

"Nakamura, sounds like you're about to be dumped" Karma couldn't help teasing.

"I don't get dumped, sir, and my sweet Nagisa loves me to much to break up. Jealous ?" The whole act with an extra hug and wink, for the audience's sake. It embarrassed the short assassin more than he already was- all the more so that Kayano had just come in and was gaping at the scene. On a normal day Nagisa would have quickly explained the situation to her, but this time he had something more important to do- escape the magical-boy-joke-of-an-assassination-attempt.

"Please, Nakamura-san..."

"Alright, alright ! We'll be back soon !" she added playfully for Karma to grab the bait and keep the teasing going.

"Don't go breaking her heart Nagisa !"

Nagisa chose to ignore his friend's last line. He strode to the door and waved an awkward hi at the still shocked Kayano, before heading to an empty classroom. Nakamura followed with a repressed chuckle on her lips. "So, Mr Potter, you've got acquainted with your wand ?" she started. Nagisa opened his palm to show the pen.

"Nakamura-san, I'm sorry. I can't use magic- and even if I could..." he stopped mid-sentence, too embarrassed to continue. Nakamura's grin turned into a pout.

"If you could you'd do it, right ? This is our best shot yet, Nagisa. Humanity's fate rests on our success in killing our teacher." _...was she trying to make him feel guilty ?_ "And will a frilly magical outfit really matter once you've saved the world and become rich?"

"I guess not..." Nagisa replied with embarrassement and a hint of shame, for as obvious as her psychological manipulation was, it still had its effect. "But I am telling you the truth. I really can't use magic. The pen won't do anything. I tried to write several-"

"To write ?" Nakamura blinked, before resuming her previous grinning. "No wonder it wouldn't work. Let me show you how you do it," she said, grabbing the pen and raising her hand in the air. "MARS POWER MAKE UP !"

"DO I REALLY HAVE TO SHOUT THAT ?!" Nagisa exclaimed with horror in his somewhat begging tone.

"What do I know ? That's how it works in the anime at least. Why don't you give it a try ?" she replied with mischief as she tossed the pen to Nagisa. He almost failed to catch it.

"Please Nakamura-san..."

"I swear I'm not telling anyone. Come on, at worst you'll just have wasted a few seconds of your life- it's no big deal, is it ?"

"And made a fool of myself !"

"I promise I won't laugh."

"Fine..." he faintly replied. Poor Nagisa collected his moral strength, took a deep breath and raised his hand. He opened his mouth..."What was it, again ?"

"A-planet-of-your-choice power make up," she answered.

"...is it possible to say something else instead of make up ?"

"You can try I guess ?"

"Alright..." Deep breath. He closed his eyes and timidly tried the first thing that came to his mind. "ASSASSINATION POWER ACTIVATE !"

He let a few seconds go by with his eyes still closed. Mostly because he was expecting something, anything to happen, but even Nakamura's laughter did not. So he eventually opened them, to find her not giggling but staring at him with a look of satisfaction on her face. He looked down to his body.

That definitely wasn't his school uniform. Luckily enough, it was not a skirt either. Nagisa's "magical uniform" was a rather sober boyish sailor uniform that consisted of a white shirt with a blue collar and three-quarter sleeves tucked in a high-waist cerulean Bermuda shorts held by matching braces, a matching bicolour sailor's hat and a pair of socks and shoes. The only details that stood out were the snake motifs on the hat and sleeves, as well as a blue gem that held the colar but was simple enough not to look feminine. After a few seconds, Nagisa's surprise gave way to relief and excitement. While he was bothered and somewhat frustrated that the outfit was far from manly, he could not help but be amazed at this proof of magic and of his new status as a magic user. A wide grin spread on his lips.

"It worked !" he exclaimed. Nakamura, even if she kept quiet, shared his enthusiasm. "So I really am a magician ?"

"You look more like a sailor, but yeah, you are." She paused for a second, obviously tempted to add something. She eventually gave in to her curiosity. "Nagisa, given the role I've played in your getting magical powers...can I have the exclusivity of your first magic trick ?" However collected she tried to be, her eyes glimmered like a little girl's in front of a poney. Nagisa was only too glad that she asked. He was dying to try his magic out.

"Su-"

Unfortunately that was the moment the bell rang the beginning of the lesson. Both students were taken aback for a second, before disappointment in the girl's eyes and panick in the boy's took over.

"What do I do ?"

"Stay here for now. We have to take him by surprise, so I'll attract his attention just as the test starts. That's when you come and use your powers against him, alright ?"

"Alright...but wait ! How about the...clothes ? I mean, I can't show up dressed like that !"

"Why not ? It looks fine."

"Really ? T-thanks...but still- is there a way I can use magic without the uniform...?" Let us be honest : the main reason Nagisa did not want to show himself in those clothes was the explanation he would have to give for dressing like that. The clothes in themselves were not too really the problem- the uniform was not ridiculous, and it was nothing next to wearing a skirt in front of the whole class. Though Karma would probably find a way to tease him about it nonetheless...

"Relax, it'll be fine. Who knows, maybe they won't even recognise you ! Like, no one ever recognises Superman for some reason..."

"But it's fiction !"

"Well, this is fanfiction, it's even less realistic" (Nakamura, please do not break the fourth wall without the narrator's consent) "Sorry. Well, anyway, I have to go back to class. I'm counting on you, Harry Potter !" And upon those words she left our protagonist alone to get psychologically prepared for what was coming. He really hoped she was right...

* * *

 _Thank you very much for the kind reviews and for following the story ! I am glad you tolerated (or even liked) Narrator; I'll make sure it does not become too annoying, but I'll use it a bit more than I had planned since it is no bother (when it starts getting annoying, please tell me)_

 _Once again feel free to leave a word, whether to give your opinion or point out a problem (in my writing style or in the jokes. I won't take it badly, really, I know my sense of humour is lousy xD)_

 _And for the shippers, don't worry, it's still very tame now but Karma will appear more from the next chapter onward ;)_


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